Exodus 21:10 - Conjugal Rights of an unloved, unwanted wife?

Exodus 21:10 - Conjugal Rights of an unloved, unwanted wife?

Even absurd and difficult to understand verses in scripture have the power of the finger of God written on the tip of every single letter, as it is written...”All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.”  (2Ti 3:16-17 NIV)

Faithfulness in marriage regardless of love or desire

Exodus 21:10 "If he takes to himself another woman, he may not reduce her food, her clothing, or her conjugal rights. (New American Standard)

"If a man who has married a slave wife takes another wife for himself, he must not neglect the rights of the first wife to food, clothing, and sexual intimacy. (New Living Translation)

First question:  Is there any underlying Hebrew that gives a better understanding to the text?  Yes!  “Reduce” as in the NAS means “diminish, restrain, take from, withdraw, abate, do away, keep back.

The man is not to give any less or withhold from his first wife the various things committed to her at marriage – food, clothing, and sexual fulfillment.

Second question: 

What in the world is the context for this?  It comes in the middle of a list of laws God gave Moses to set before the people (Exodus 21:1).  The better question though, is why this list of commands? It is because God alone is God, and he alone delivered Israel from slavery in Egypt.  God has set out specific commands to follow, so that his people know how to serve him.  He does not abstractly and randomly punish people for unknowingly sinning against me, but in his grace has given the Israelites a clear way to know whether they are serving God or not. 

^NAS  Exodus 20:1-2 Then God spoke all these words, saying, ² "I am the LORD your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery.

Third Question:   

What are some underlying principles that apply equally then as well as today? 

The God of the covenant demands that men keep their covenants to their wives as a visible sign of the covenant God keeps with them.  Their marriages to each other, which supposed to exclude any non-Israelites, are to honor him and their devotion to marriage is a reflection of the heart of Israel for their Deliverer.  Thus, if a man changes his mind about the woman he married, he cannot change his mind about the covenant he established with her.   

While scripture neither approves of, nor specifically condemns polygamy, the condemnation here is not toward marrying another woman and having two wives.  Rather, even in the midst of his second covenant of faithfulness he must continue to be faithful to the first covenant he chose to establish.  He must show the covenantal faithfulness toward his first wife, regardless of his attraction for her.   This is applied in that culture by providing food, clothing, and sexual fulfillment to the first wife. 

Fourth Question:   

What about today?

In marriage today in America, it is doubtful there are many pastoral exhortations  that men need to have sex with their first wife, as well as their current one.  Contextually, polygamy is not generally applicable to America.  Covenantal Faithfulness, however, can most definitely be applied.  When a man gives lofty promises before marriage then changes his mind… He must still be faithful to her in every aspect.  This is a reflection of the glimmer of the glory of God revealed through the institution of marriage.  Faithfulness regardless of love, because marriage is meant to reflect to a pagan world the faithfulness of the Deliverer of Israel.  The world cannot help but ask why a man would provide for, love, and cherish a woman he no longer desires to be with.  The answer is that marriage is for the sake of the kingdom of God, not for the sake of love.